The People Vs. Ariana Grande
All rise!!!
Welcome to the trial of The People of America Vs. Ariana Grande. I am saddened by the events that bring you to my court today. The Singer-Songwriter/Actress, Ariana Grande, has officially announced her separation from Husband Dalton Gomez. What ensued afterwards was a court certified mess of hate on both sides and someone has to get to the bottom of it! Luckily, my court had an opening so I did my sister a favor. I told Ariana it was either this or I drive you to Jada’s house and make her get the red table out of storage. She chose my option. Let’s begin.
This post will be too long for email because there is a lot of research so downloading the Substack app or viewing on browser is highly recommended
Disclaimer: Ariana Grande is my mother. My white black girl sister. I have been with this woman since she was writing a song on her little piano. Everything I am saying I am saying with love. Therefore, do not be in my comments saying im hating or being mean to Ariana because it is all love and I would never actually insult my mother. So keep it cute in the comments. Also be sure to click the links for added context.
Please be seated for reading of background Information:
The Facts:
Ariana “Arianka” Grande and Dalton Gomez met early 2020
Ariana and Dalton have been married since May 2021
The couple got engaged after 5 months.
Sources say that they actually separated in January
Dalton is a real estate agent in LA and it is commonly believed that they met when Ariana hired him as a real estate agent in 2019. They have never confirmed how they met
Ariana is now alleged to be dating fellow Wicked co star and the star of the Spongebob Musical on Broadway, Ethan Slater
Ethan Slater has been married to his wife, Lilly Jay, since 2018 but has been with her for more than a decade
The two also just had a baby together last year
It is unclear if/when Ethan and Lilly separated
Some people thought that Ariana was dating the voice actor for spongebob, Tom Kenny and his wife, Jill Tilley, had to come out and set the record straight.
The People
The People of America believe that Ariana Grande is a homewrecker, Jury.
You see, Jury, Slater was already married to high school sweetheart, Lilly Jay, when he and Grande got together as Entertainment Tonight explains:
Slater married Jay, his former high school classmate, in 2018. The couple welcomed their first child, a son, last year. In November 2022, Slater shared an anniversary tribute to his wife on Instagram, writing, "My best friend. 4 years married, 10 years together. And this is easily the best (and most *bizarre*) year yet." Grande liked the post.
First I just have to say if you haven’t heard about what happened with Tori Kelly but we need all hearts up for her right now.
Some people feel as if Ariana was knowingly the other woman and intentionally broke up their relationship. She was liking posts as recent as May and that is kind of recent so I see where that may be sus.
Apparently, Ethan’s wife was also shocked to learn that Ethan was dating Ariana. Yikes. A source close to Jay tells Entertainment Tonight she's "devastated" by the breakup with her husband and that "this is not the future she had in mind." The source adds, "She's doing her best to get back on her feet. She's incredibly smart and driven" and "she is truly the best mother."
Also the Plaintiff just wants to remind everyone that this is the man that she left Dalton (who is objectively hot) for.
Not to body shame but what happened mama? Was he really that funny? Does she have a thing for the Spongebob voice? As we know Jury she is a broadway girl so in that regard I guess it makes sense. But that still doesn’t explain what she sees in him. They just do not even make sense right next to each other.
The Plaintiff can only sigh.
The Plaintiff brings Ariana Grande’s dating history to the Judge’s bench
Exhibit A
Pete Davidson
First of all is this man attractive? I’ll let the Jury decide that one. Secondly, this is no shade to Pete1. She kind of did you dirty in the eyes of The People. Yes, she did say in her song “Ghostin” that she wished that Mac was alive instead of Pete.
Though I wish he were here instead
don’t want that living in your head
And if you didn’t mean that mama, I would have liked some clarification. If this is what you meant, this is a very valid but also very toxic thing to say. What do you mean you don’t want that living in Pete’s head? If someone said that to me I would want to kill myself because huh???? Hearing words like that coming from your recent ex, nay, ex fiancé are kind of really hard for anyone to hear and I just don’t think Pete Davidson deserved that.
Sadly, Ghostin is not the only song where she talks about Pete not being right for her but still continuing to date him.
In Grande’s song “In My Head” she states
Wanted you to grow, but, boy, you wasn't budding
Everything you are made you everything you aren’t
I saw your potential without seein' credentials
Maybe that's the issue (Damn, damn)
Said maybe that's the issue, ah
Can’t hold that shit against you, ah
Guess I did it to myself, yeah
Thought you were somebody else, you
She admits to moving too fast in the relationship. Possibly alluding to their very fast engagement. She admits wrong herself Jury! Ariana Grande does have a history of being reckless in serious relationships.
Pete has kept it classy when it comes to Arianka but I just know that that breakup really fucked him up.2
Exhibit B
Big Sean
I have to admit it was a simpler time. If I could go back to the time when they were dating I would.
I mean we got the Big Sean tweet to Justin bieber out of it
Turns out this tweet is actually fake and he never tweeted that but it’s too late once it’s on the internet it’s on there forever. There are people who definitely saw the fake tweet but never saw where Big Sean said it was fake. Honestly, I wish he did tweet it. It’s funny as hell!
This performance of Love me Harder was what he was allegedly upset about and unlike Keke Palmer’s loser baby daddy, if he was actually upset about this I would understand. Glad to see that Justin Bieber got to Belieb another day3
The real issue with this relationship was that Nya Rivera (RIP) revealed in her book that she walked into Big Sean’s house (after Big Sean said didn’t want to see her) to see Ariana sitting on the couch listening to music. She actually said this
“I walk in, go downstairs, and guess what little girl is sitting cross-legged on the couch listening to music? … It rhymes with ‘Smariana Schmande.’"
Smariana Schmande sends me into orbit. Ugh she really was gone too soon. Nya did not explicitly say that Ariana was the other woman in her and Big Sean’s relationship but that is definitely how the public sees it. I remember hearing about this and hearing that she walked in on them having sex. That just proves how the internet is one giant messy game of telephone one unclicked article at time.
Bringing this back the Ethan, Jury, Ethan is her cast mate and she is kind of shitting where she eats. That is just a slippery slope Arianka but when done right it could be fine. Strong could.
In conclusion, Ariana Grande may not have broken up Nya and Sean’s marriage but she does seem to find herself always at the scene of the crime. The People feel as though Arianas recent dating rumors only further prove that Ariana Grande is irresponsible and a homewrecker.
I bet that is how serious some people are getting about this situation.
Let’s get into a side that makes more sense…..
In Defense of Ariana Grande
The People of America feel as though Ariana has brought this on herself. They are falling into the easy trap of blaming only the woman and not the man. Did y’all not just watch the Barbie movie?
Let’s start with the fact that it takes two people to break up a marriage. If true, Ethan was one of those people. He should get the sole blame for breaking up his marriage. If he didn’t want to be with his wife anymore that is his choice. Is it a choice that I would agree with? Well how would I know, I am not Ethan Slater! I think there is a inkling of some messiness here but I think we have to wait and see if more information comes out as to why they split before we place judgement.
This article echos the feelings of The Defense.
Moving on, Jury, sometimes people just don’t work out!
On Monday, a source confirmed to ET that Grande and Dalton Gomez had separated after two years of marriage, noting that the pair -- who tied the knot in May 2021, five months after announcing their engagement -- "ultimately were just not a good fit."
Contrary to popular belief, Ariana Grande is actually human.4 So, it is fair to assume that, yes, once again she may have rushed into an engagement. However, that doesn’t change the fact that they just possibly weren’t right for each other! What would The People want Ariana to do? Stay unhappy in her marriage? Who benefits from that? Not Ariana that’s for sure.
I thought we believed in women’s rights? Women are allowed to leave a relationship at any time if she decides its not serving her. Spoiler alert: Men can too! Anyone can! Why? Because once you follow the verse from Negrolations 5:28: “And who's gonna beat my ass??” your life gets a lot easier. Trust me.
The People have not considered that Ariana is aware of everything that she is doing, and how it may look to people, and not care. Ariana Grande has given more to The People than the people will ever be able to repay her for. Personally, she could have stopped making music with Yours Truly and I would have been happy! She is quite simply one of the greatest voices of our generation. I personally think she is allowed to date and be engaged or married to whoever she wants! Because quite simply she can!! To me it looks like she is just following her heart. So in that case good for her!
The Defense brings Megan Thee Stallion to the stand
It is unclear if Ariana and Megan were or are actually friends but they do have a song together with Doja Cat, 34+35 (Remix).
In “34+35 (Remix)” Megan states
Bad, bad bitch, all the boys wanna spank me (Spank me)
Left him on read, girlfriend need to thank me (Thank me)
Jury Ariana is a smart woman so I am sure she at least listens to Megan’s music and would consider herself a Hottie. And as a Hottie we know that we don’t owe these men shit!! Most certainly not the world! Or anyone not paying our bills! Megan the Stallion would not be embarrassed about breaking up someone’s marriage. She would rap about it in a song and keep it pushing why?
Say it with my Jury: No one is going to beat her ass!!!
Ariana Grande is allowed to date whoever she wants and from the “facts” of this alleged relationship, she was separated from her husband long before her and Ethan started allegedly dating. The Jury should keep in mind that we still do not have an official comment from Grande or Slater at this time.
No shade to Ethan’s wife but like Miss The Stallion said these women should be happy that Ariana isn’t breaking up more marriages! She is Ariana The Way Grande! We already know she has good puss! So let’s not acting fucking dumb here. Ariana Grande can hold her own and is a boss bitch that won’t be confined to the arbitrary rules of the Patriarchal world.
This is too reminiscent of when Ariana and Mac Miller broke up and everyone was blaming her and sending her death threats. I wish I had Kiara’s Court back then because bitches were wilding.
For The Defense’s final point, I want the Jury to consider that maybe this Ethan guy has a big dick? I mean she has a type! She admitted Big Sean’s was big in the Thank U, Next video, everyone knows Pete’s is, I would not be surprised if Mac Miller (RIP) was packing either! This reminds me of how Taylor Swift5 just needed to get #that fuck out of her.
Look at her face!! Mama was dickmatized!! This photo is burned in my brain and honestly at this point its goals.
But seriously, it makes me sad to know that when something like this comes out about her. I know people are going to immediately hate on her and i’m like but have we considered maybe……. blaming the man?? Or blaming no one! We could all recognize that these people’s business aint got nothing to do with me so maybe i’ll go mind mine6? I think that is the take away from this letter.
Everyone mind their own damn business!
Court Adjourned👩🏿⚖️
Who also has an interesting dating history that we won’t get into
it would actually be really funny / kind of cunt if she actually does end up with Pete all along.
I’ll see myself out. Jk this is my court
Not a Mariah Carey hand crafted crafted clone. Who is destined to take her place when Mariah ultimately decides Earth is too boring and decides to party with God.
Not to necessarily equate the two they most likely don’t like each other (Scooter is still Ariana’s manager) and I personally like Ariana as a person more.
Not me of course I have a court to run!