Stop asking me boring questions at parties
and ask me these better, more interesting, questions instead!
Listen to the latest episode of my music recommendation podcast, 6 Songs 4: Questions!
I am a woman about town. I get invited to a lot of parties and usually spend my weekends meeting new people and expanding my network. However, I hate, nay, dread, the small talk that inevitably forms after you do the “Hi, nice to meet you” formality.
Everyone always wants to know if you are from NYC originally. I don’t understand why this is so many people’s go-to because I don’t find it interesting unless you’re not from America.1 I have lived in New York since 2017, but I am from Arkansas originally, and the responses to that revelation get old very fast. It’s always one or multiple of the following responses:
Ar-KANSAS! America, explain! - That girl owes me financial compensation
The entire notion that Arkansas should be pronounced like Kansas is ridiculous because Arkansas was a state FIRST, and so it should actually be pronounced KAN-SAW. But whatever….Also, take up the pronunciation with the native Americans who named it! Not me!
Oh wow! That’s wild, I’ve never met someone from Arkansas
Not that crazy, I’ve never met someone from North Dakota??
OMG, they have Black people there??
Where do you think all the slaves went??? BFFR
OMG, wow, how was it growing up in the Midwest?
Arkansas is not in the Midwest at all. It is a southern state in every sense of the word. Don’t piss me off. If Arkansas is the Midwest, then what is Texas? Open the schools!
Oh wow….I’m sorry…
I hate this response because most people have never been to Arkansas, so they are projection their perception of it onto me. I love Arkansas. Most of my family still lives there, and I visit when I can. What are you implying you should feel bad about? That I didn’t grow up in a major city? Who cares? This brings me to another point of people misunderstanding what it’s really like to grow up in the south and how people from the north think they’re holier than thou because of it. But I’ll spare you that rant for now.
Growing tired of the annoying responses, I have recently been either not answering the question at all and saying “I live in Bushwick” or trying my best to evade the question. After 8 years and the same responses, it gets realllllllly old really fast.
The next question that people ask is, “What do you do for work?” I find this to be a much fairer question to ask because in NYC, people do have interesting jobs. However, for someone who hates their job at the moment, I would rather spend my free time talking about literally anything else. I have recently started saying that I don’t want to talk about it because I am truly agonized with the mess of my job every other second. That being said, I am trying to get a new job, so I am more open to talking about this one than where I’m from. If anyone is hiring, dm me!!!!!
Other questions that people ask that I find a little annoying, but are generally fair:
How do you know (insert person whose party it is)?
This is generally fine, but after the 3rd or 4th time, i’m over it. It doesn’t matter how we met, it matters that we are all here together.
Have you been here (the venue) before?
Why does it matter? I can’t think of any reason why this would matter besides knowing where the bathroom is.
My main issue with these questions is that not only do I not want to talk about them, but the person asking them doesn’t actually care. They are just trying to be polite and fill the silence. I think it’s boring and unoriginal. Maybe i’m just a bitch! But either way, i’m tired of it. Therefore, I have come up with better, more interesting questions to ask someone at a party:
Have you seen Sinners?
What are your Letterboxd top 4?
Can I see your Spotify Wrapped/ Apple Music replay from last year?
What are your big 3 zodiac signs?
How do you feel about Fergie?
What do you think happens when we die?
What Character from Sex and the City are you?
What was your last dream about?
Were you a Disney, Nickelodeon, or Cartoon Network kid?
Favorite DCOM?
Which High School Musical is your favorite?
Which Cheetah Girls Movie is your favorite?
Favorite Muppet?
Favorite midday snack?
How do you feel about Beyoncé?
This is to sus out the weirdos you need to stay away from
Favorite Beyoncé song/album
Favorite Meme/TikTok right now
What animal do you identify with?
Are you single/How did you meet your partner?
And so many more!
What are some questions that you would ask someone you just met at a party that aren’t boring? Let me know in the comments.
and im sure people who aren’t from America get annoyed with my basic question about where they’re from. At least I can hide it a little bit because my accent is gone.
Idk, I really love asking people from other parts of America if they had culture shock when they moved to LA/NYC, cause as a non-American, the difference between those two places and the rest of the country is fascinating to me. I don't think it's talked about enough really - Keke Palmer talking about not knowing what Taco Tuesday is until she moved to LA. More of those titbits Americans please!!!
I went to a gathering at a friend of a friend’s apartment the other week and someone asked, “how do you define mysticism?” And it got all 7 of us talking for 4 hours. sometimes it has to be the right company with a receptive attitude (curious, casual)